Tracey Slade`s story about someone breaking out of the Black Orchid Nottingham brings back memories of an incident many years earlier at The Cats Whiskers Leeds.
The building was empty, other than for the night-watchman, the security staff, and me – or so we thought.
The security staff included wrestling star Big Daddy (Shirley Crabtree), Hawaiian Jim (said to be a Jimmy Savile protégé), and three more really big guys; the night-watchman was an extremely religious man who was easily offended.
The final security job was to search the public areas for sleeping customers, and to make sure the building was secure.
When all five security staff went in to check the ladies toilets, and immediately rushed straight back out, I knew there was something amiss.
“All secure boss,” someone announced as they rushed towards the front door.
“Let`s make sure,” I replied.
There the poor lady was, lying on the toilet floor, completely naked except for shoes, and spread over three cubicles.
Clearly a nightclub manager`s nightmare.
We had no female staff to call, but at least she was alive, and to prove it, snored like an outboard motor.
Before we could fetch a table cloth to preserve her dignity, she turned her head towards us, growled, then began scrambling out from underneath the cubicles, at the same time hurtling torrents of abuse at us.
We must have set a world record for six men leaving a ladies toilet.
The poor night-watchman watched us, completely bemused, and opened a fire exit for some reason. He then stood by it, as though to attention.
Amid an outburst of the foulest language, spitting, and fist flaying, the young lady burst out of the toilet, grabbed hold of the night-watchman and tried to punch him – but before we could act, two police officers raced into the building to rescue him, which only partly worked.
Upon seeing the police our rejuvenated sleeper raced out of the building wearing nothing but her shoes, closely followed by the two officers, rather like the end of a Benny Hill show.
As for the night-watchman; we couldn`t stop him shaking. He was simply overloaded with new experiences, some of which he would have difficulty explaining when he got home.
And the young lady; she lived close by and it transpired that she was well known to the police.
Any suggestion of assault by an undressed lady, or any derivation of, was dismissed by the night-watchman. He just wanted to forget the whole thing, and was pleased the police officers had turned up early for their late night cup of tea.
Did the young lady ever return to the club? Who can tell?
Would you have recognised her?